Though I "should" be making dinner and or preparing for my Ya Ya day in Port Orchard tomorrow, I am sipping wine and writing to cyberspace on my blog. Yes... I am sipping wine...and yes it is not even 5 PM but who the heck and gosh gives a rip!! Not I.
I called Fairborn Guy at work at 4 PM and asked "hey is it too early for me to start drinking?"
Today I decided to tackle an overdue conversation with Fairborn Guy's Oncologist office. Mid conversation I started bawling...."just ignore my crying, if you don't mind, I need you to know what is going on here" were my words to the sweet nurse on the other end of the phone.
For those of you who do not know, my Fairborn Guy was diagnosed with malignant melanoma in Jan of this year. He received great care and had his tumor surgically removed. Once his surgery was done, it was presented to us that he was eligible for a Melanoma medical study trial. He accepted this study that required he see the Oncologist once every two months. Here is where I went wrong....I trusted that this every two month appointment he would be given the riggers of skin observation.
A few weeks ago my sweet man informed me that these appointments were so "useless"....that they did not even do "anything" accept ask him questions.
"WHAT" is the polite version of my response...."are you kidding me? We have been paying $150.00 bucks each appointment for NOTHING?" Deep breaths "...are you saying that no one has even looked at your skin for almost an entire year?"
Committee voices enter my head and scream "you slacker, you know that Fariborn Guy's personality is not trustable to send to the Dr. by himself...you should have been all over this you idiot."
"...just ignore my crying, Miss Nurse, but is this really possible?...has my husband been into your office all these months and not been skin checked...please tell me he was just exaggerating when he informed me of this 'little detail'."
Her response was one of ignorance mixed with compassion. She said she had no knowledge of what did or did not occur in the exam room with the Dr. She was only in charge of the questionnaire. Fair enough but someone please let me know why I assumed that $150.00 every few months was buying me something called reassurance??????
I have such immense compassion for anyone who is dealing with the medical community. With such specialized medicine fields we do gain, but we also loose...we loose track of who does what and when. Patients have to be such ardent consumers....always on the forefront of asking and making sure of the details. Have a I mentioned I suck at details??? My heart is overwhelmed for those, who because of being like my man, do just what Doctors tell them and therefore fall in between the cracks.
Lesson re-learned: I can not let my husband go to the doctor by himself. Dr Oz is a strong advocate of this advice....why did I assume these study appointments were any different....argh?
Goodness...what would good ole Pooh and Tigger have to say to me about all of this? Not sure, but I do know what my faithful and gracious God tells me...He tells me He will never leave me or forsake me...thank you Jesus for our togetherness in all things, even stupid medical study frustrations...may I be able to present to you as a birthday gift this year, a heart of faith in spite of useless medical bills and resulting fear due to them. You are my hope and my refuge!!!!